Week 1 of HBR is coming to an end

So, after last Tuesday's Perinatologist appointment, I was sent over to SACH Resort (San Antonio Community Hospital) to begin hospital bed rest. Why the sudden change of plan? Well, my cervix was down to .5cm's so the doctor just felt like this would be a safer place for Sophia and I.

The first night here was hard. Leaving Natalie broke my heart, and to top it off, I was admitted only 3 days before my birthday. I must admit, I spent the first night crying but now I feel like this is definitely the place where I need to be. I feel like being here gives Sophia a better chance at life. I am 13 days away from the point of viability. I know that 24 weeks is no guarantee but it makes me feel better to know that anything from that point on is a plus for my princess number 2 :)

I have been praying a lot and have really felt in my heart that God will allow everything to be ok. I have felt fine these past days and am really hoping that this trend continues.

46 days to goal

Yesterdays appointment with the peri did not go too well. The ultrasound showed that my cervix was down to .5cm....pretty much nothing. The doctor decided at that point that it was best to just send me to the hospital for bed rest. I can't say that I was completely surprised with her decision but I didn't think she would resort to this so soon.

I went home to get my bag packed and then headed over to maternity at San Antonio. I did all the admitting stuff and after a few hours I was moved to the room that will be my home for the next 7 weeks...God willing.

The hardest part of this is leaving Natalie. I just don't want her to feel bad and it beaks my heart to see her cry because I have to stay. I know she will be ok but I just feel like a part of me has failed her because I won't be there to put her to bed at night.

I know that this will be over before I know it and when it is I will have another miracle to take home. Getting through these days is hard. I pray that God will grace me with patience and understanding while we anxiously and hopefully wait for Sophia.

Hopeful

Today was my follow-up appointment with the Perinatal center. After surviving 6 days of SBR we have some good news to share. Doctor confirmed that my cervix had increased just a little bit, from 0.9cm to 1.2cm. I know that in the grand scheme of things, 0.3cm is not much but I praise God for that increase.

Ralph wasn't able to go with me today, but he was thrilled to hear the good news just as I was.

I know that this is going to be long journey. I am only 19 weeks along...but it is worth the sacrifice. I continue to lift Sophia up in prayer....knowing that God already has a plan for her. Sometimes we underestimate all that He is and all that He can do. While the doctors might say that it can't happen I believe it can. Nothing is impossible for God. I love Psalm 139 because it's words are so meaningful to me during this time:

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be. 

The Party is OVER

After having the cerclage placed at 12 weeks, we were finally back to see the Perinatal center. I was excited because I knew that we would get to see our little princess once again but at the same time nervous of what the doctor might have to say regarding my cervix.

After the fun of watching our little princess (and reconfirming that she was indeed a princess), came the bad news. The doctor told us that my cervix was down to .9cm (regular is 3.5 - 4.0) and that it had also begun to funnel on the inside. Needless to say we were saddened and scared. At that moment, all the doctor could suggest was COMPLETE bed rest until her and the regular OB decided on what the plan of action would be. I think we left the office with little hope that day.

Later on Dr. Rodrigues called to say that he didn't feel like doing a second cerclage was safe and again, just reiterated that bed rest was our only hope. So that day...my SBR (strict bed rest) journey with Sophia began. 

It All Started With.....

A VERY positive pregnancy test! I was completely shocked to see that second line. After months of NOT preventing, with nothing happening, a small part of me had lost hope that it would EVER happen. I definitely felt like it was an answered prayer to realize we were finally expecting a little one.